Any Reason (x 2)
by Hilary Parker
Summary: A Logan-centric Drabble followed by a ficlet. Written back in 2000 when the show was still pretty new. First time posted on FanFiction(dot)net.


Disclaimer: All the usual words apply. I do not own any of the characters here-in. That honor goes to Mssrs. Cameron & Eglee, and to Fox. No monetary profit is gained or expected from this writing.

A/N: I wrote the short story and drabble contained here back mid to late November 2000. Wow, that's a long time ago. At the time I ran a Dark Angel discussion group over on yahoo groups and was hopelessly addicted to the show. But I was not a member of back then so this was never posted here. As part of my 'New Years Day sets the tone for the rest of the year' philosophy, I wanted to post something else here tonight so I thought of sharing this. I'd love to know what you think.

A/N 2: The drabble could easily be seen as set in almost any time in season 1. The ficlet was written around the time the episdoes 'Heat' and 'Cream' aired since at the time, I noted that it might contain spoilers for the two.

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Drabble:

I should have kissed her. God, I wanted to kiss her! And for just a moment I think she wanted to kiss me too. She'd never admit it of course. Who am I kidding? I'd never admit. Not to her. Why is that? Why can't we just admit that there is something here? Between us. Bling sees it. So does Original Cindy. Why should it be so hard to simply say I care? Or I want? Because Lydecker taught her not to care, and Val made me afraid to want? That's a cop-out, because I do want, and she cares.

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Short Ficlet: Any Reason

Prologue:  
I've been thinking a lot lately about Logan and me. About the lives we lead. About the one he chose for himself and the one Manticore forced upon me.

Normalcy isn't something either of us has known a lot of, nor is it something we're ever likely to achieve. But lately, even what passes for routine in our lives has gotten completely out of whack. One problem, disaster, or screwed up situation after another. It's enough to make even a revved up girl like me tired.

And Logan...I get the impression that lately he's getting less sleep than me.

Part 1:

"I can take care of myself. Plus there's someone around here who needs me." As the words she'd once spoken to Hannah drifted through her mind, Max leaned silently in the doorway watching Logan. He was exactly where she'd left him when she'd checked in this morning, before his bank of computers, sifting relentlessly through screen after screen of gibberish. He was trying to crack the code on the diskette she'd recently acquired from Lydecker.

Logan focused so intently on the numbers and letters before him that he had yet to realize she was in the room, and for a long moment she simply watched him work. His long nimble fingers flew across the keyboard and he rocked slightly back and forth in his wheelchair. 'Probably been drinking that sludge he calls coffee all day,' she guessed with a grimace of distaste.

"Hey!" she finally called out, quietly not wanting to startle him. Max realized when his sparkling green eyes met hers that she needn't have bothered. "You knew I was here all along didn't you?"

Logan couldn't help but grin at the accusation. "I've been playing with my security setup again," he replied smoothly. Truthfully, the thing was unarmed at the moment, but he wasn't sure how Max would feel if she knew he was developing a sort of sixth sense about her. He'd 'known' the moment she'd entered the apartment, though he was certain she hadn't made a sound. "So what brings you here? I thought you had plans tonight."

"I do," Max replied with a smile of her own.

"Was there something you needed from me first?" Logan told himself he wasn't going to ask who her plans were with. He was much better off just assuming she would be out with Kendra and Original Cindy.

"Actually," Max drew the word out as she strolled across the room to stand before Logan. "I was wondering if I could borrow you're car."

"My car? Max my car is set up for me to drive. I don't think..."

"Yeah, well that's the thing. I need to borrow you too. Just for a couple of hours."

"You want to borrow 'ME'?" Logan gave her a long look. "Max are you feeling okay?"

"Well, I just figured 'borrow' sounds better than 'kidnap'. But if you'd prefer, you could say I've come to kidnap you for a couple of hours."

"Oh-Kay! So now it's kidnap. While I have to admit that has all kinds of intriguing connotations to it, I can't help wondering, what's going on Max? What are you up to?"

"Why do I have to be up to anything?" Max asked, with feigned innocence. "I just thought you might like to get out of here for awhile. You've been cooped up here for days now. You haven't even been working out lately. Come on Logan, come with me. Just for a little while." When she saw him wavering, Max added the finishing touch. "Please."

Logan looked helplessly at his computer screen. He was certain that he was close to breaking the code and he really wanted to keep working, but the idea of escaping his self-made prison for a while was definitely appealing, especially, with Max at his side. "Where are we going?" He finally asked.

"You'll see when we get there." Max's dark eyes flashed triumphantly. "You'll want to change first," she said with a mischievous glance at his sweat pants and T-shirt. "Dress warmly, and be sure to wear a heavy jacket."

Part 2:  
Less than an hour later Max pulled Logan's car to a somewhat faltering halt against a broken curb. Logan sat beside her in the passenger seat wondering what had possessed him to agree to this.

Upon reaching his space in the parking garage Max had insisted he let her drive. After a brief battle she'd managed to convince him to not only hand her the keys, but to also put on the blind fold she produced. At first he'd tried to pay attention to the turns she made, certain that he knew the city well enough to guess where she might be taking him. He'd quickly realized that where she was taking him was in circles.

"Does the fact that were stopping mean I can take this thing off now?" He finally asked.

"Nope." Was Max's reply, before she slipped out of the car. Coming around to the passenger side, she opened his door and leaned into lift his legs out and set them on the pavement.

"You might want to get the chair first." Logan suggested self consciously. Strangely embarrassed by a touch he couldn't feel.

"Can't." Max said matter-of-factly. "Chair won't go where we're going." With those words she bent over and without any warning simply pulled Logan across her shoulder in a fireman's carry.

The sudden change in position threw Logan completely off balance as did the notion of Max carrying him. He tried to brace himself against her back, but could find no purchase on the slick satin outer lining of her jacket. "Max! Put me down. Look, this is not a good idea. I outweigh you by close to a hundred pounds."

"Good thing Manticore engineered me to be able to lift three times my body weight then isn't it. Now be still and quiet down. You'll wake the neighbors."

"Neighbors?" Logan latched onto the word. "Where are we Max?"

"You'll see. Just be patient."

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one hanging upside..." He let the words trail off, knowing that any argument he presented would fall on death ears. Instead he silently cursed himself for agreeing to the excursion, and the blindfold, in the first place. Why had he let Max talk him into this? 'Yeah right, like there's anything she couldn't talk you into.'

When he heard the sound of a fog horn, Logan guessed that they must be near the water and found himself straining for more hints of where Max might be taking him. He realized shortly that the had passed into a building as he could no longer feel the night air on his face.

Max for her part, focused on making her way across the street and into the tall structure before them. Once inside she made her way around to the service elevator she'd spent the better part of the day rigging to a generator and testing for safety. In spite of her enhanced strength she had no interest in hauling Logan up to the top of the building. Besides, she'd have a hard enough time keeping him calm once they reached their destination, without adding negotiating stairs first to the equation.

Once inside the elevator, Max settled Logan's lean form on the floor and checked to be sure the blindfold was secure. "No peaking," she teased before stepping out to start the generator.

Bridge had promised her that it would have enough juice to run for at least 12 hours and was silent enough that it wouldn't draw any attention. The dapperly dressed shop-keep hadn't told Max where he'd gotten it, just that he'd had such a good time doing so that he couldn't possibly accept payment for it. Max thanked whatever fates were responsible for their having been arrested on the same day.

Once the machine was running. Max made her way back to the elevator and Logan who sat silently, if somewhat impatiently waiting. Closing the iron lattice work door she pushed the button for the top most floor, then turned to Logan. "We're almost there, I promise."

Logan said nothing as he pondered the situation and tried to figure out just where Max was taking him. The fog horn put them on or near the water, the lack of noise in the building they'd entered meant that it was most likely abandoned, and the air was heavy with the musky scent of disuse. The slight hum of the elevator as it ascended was marked periodically by a faint clicking sound as it rose and he counted off floors.

He lost track around 33 as a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach took over and a conversation he had shared with Max awhile back came to him. "Have you ever been up on the Space Needle?" she'd asked almost idly and seemed surprised to find out that not only hadn't he, but that due to a fear of heights he had no interest whatsoever in the once popular tourist attraction. At the time, her bemused response, "...we're going to have to do something about that..." hadn't really phased him, but...

"Max! Tell me were not headed where I think were headed!" He commanded softly.

"Okay, we're not headed where you think we're headed," came the glib reply. "Where do you think were headed?" Max asked, stalling for time.

"Max I'm serious. I really don't like high places." Logan heard the note of panic in his voice and hated himself for it but his fear of heights, or more correctly of falling ran pretty deep.

Max heard the tremor too, and dropped to her knees beside Logan, as the elevator neared the top of the Needle and ground to a halt.. Reaching out she took off the blind fold and watched as his eyes dilated to adjust to the low light put out by the emergency light powered, along with the elevator, by the generator. The fear she saw in their depths caused her breath to catch and without thinking she placed her palm against his cheek, soothingly. "I'm sorry Logan. I thought once I got you out there you'd be fine. I'll take us back down."

Reaching up Logan cradled Max's hand against his cheek as he fought with his inner demons. Forcing himself to calm down he offered the angel before him a weak smile. The need for her to understand was overwhelming and before he even realized he was going to tell her the words were tumbling out.

"My dad died when I was fifteen. He wasn't around much even before then. He was military. Navy Seals. He and my mom divorced when I was nine and Mom and I went to live with her brother. My uncle was a great guy, but he didn't much like my dad, so for the most part Dad stayed away. But he wrote to me whenever he could. Never had much to say about his own life but asked dozens of questions about mine and he'd send me newspapers from a lot of the places he visited. He probably could have gotten in trouble for that but he said he wanted me to know what was happening in the world and that we couldn't always rely on our own papers to tell us." Logan paused to take a steadying breath. "Anyway, when I was fifteen my uncle opened the door one day to find a Navy Chaplain on our doorstep. He told us my dad had died in a training accident when his chute failed to open, then presented me with a flag and a urn. I had nightmares for months afterwards, about falling..."

Max laid a finger against Logan's lips to silence him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Now I know where that journalistic integrity comes from." She said with a smile. "He'd be proud of you, Logan, of the man you've become. I'll take us back down." She said a long moment later as she rose gracefully to her feet.

"Max, wait." Logan called out as she reached for the control panel. "We've come this far. I might as well let you show me whatever it is you wanted so badly to show me." He wasn't sure why, but suddenly he needed to face this and somehow, with Max at his side, Logan thought maybe he could.

"Really?" she asked with a bemused smile.

"Really."

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Part 3:  
Max had settled Logan on a blanket just outside the doorway, so that he leaned against the wall and could lookout over the city then ducked back inside to grab a basket. Along with the generator, Bridge had supplied the fully loaded picnic basket. Settling herself on the blanket just a little in front of Logan her eyes sought his only to find them tightly closed.

"Have you even looked yet?" she asked teasingly.

"No." Logan said shortly. "I'm trying to work up the nerve."

"Just open your eyes and look. I promise you're nowhere near the edge and it's beautiful Logan. There's a full moon and very few clouds. I can actually see stars for a change. Stop being a wuss and open your eyes," Max teased before reaching out to take his hand in hers. "You know it's not so much what I wanted to show you, as what I wanted to give you."

"Give me?" Logan finally opened his eyes to meet Max's.

"Freedom, Logan. That's what I get from this place. What I feel when I'm up here and I wanted to share it with you." Leaning forward Max placed the gentlest of kisses against his lips then before he could react turned to face the city.

When Logan's arms came up to encircle her and pull her back against his chest she went willingly and for a long time they simply gazed out at the city before them. Max knew the moment he finally felt the freedom of it all. Felt it in the relaxing of his body against hers and the sigh that escaped his lips by her ear.

"Happy Birthday, Logan."

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Epilogue:  
Logan was right. Life is short and brutal, and yet there are reasons to celebrate.

Final A/N: In my minds eye, as Max's voice over begins, I see the camera pulling away from a close up of Max and Logan, to take in the Needle and the city around them before fading to black..)


End file.
